Funny quotes

Being beautiful is hard, but someone*s gotta do it

Coca cola went to town pepsi cola shoot him down, dokter pepper pept him up, they drink all 7-up.

Death is the greatest thing of all that*s why we save it 4 last

Don't feel sad, don*t feel blue. Frankenstine was ugly too

Don't go to church on sunday, that doesnt work, because God loves just me

Don''t stoned I*m think

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity

Get stoned, drink wet cement

Have you ever been to a zoo? I mean as a visitor?

Here I am! What are your other 2 wishes?

Hi. I'm probably home. I*m just avoiding someone I don*t like, leave me a m*ssage and if I don*t answer, it*s you

I know what you did last night

I lajk skool, spesjelie wen its kloost

I'm not your type: I'm not inflatable.

If you fuck up my life more then I do then you can say you fucked me.

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

It’s like going to confession every time I hear you speak

I’m sure my grandma’s underwear will make me look sexy!

My fantasy...2 men...1 cooking, 1 cleaning.

Piss off! I*ve enough friends.

QT (cuty)

Roses are red, violets are blue, and your face belongs in the ZOO

Roses are red, violins are blue most poems rime but this one doesn*t

So, anyway, I was talking to my hand when I noticed this five little things on it! and believe it or not: they call it Fingers!

Take me drunk, I am home...

The only thing to fear, is running out of bear

To catch me, you gotta be fast... To find me, you gotta be smart... But to be me...!! DAMN! You must be kidding!

Too drunk to drink

Two words guys hate... Don*t & Stop…Unless you put them together!

Well, this day was a total waste of make-up...

What is a nice girl like me doing in a place like this

When I was praying to myself suddenly realised that I was GOD

Why drink and drive when you can blow and fly